Life is Not All About Winning
Image: Pexels/@JillWellington. CCO
I am myself, still learning to stay strong with all the hardships that life is bringing to us, probably recently I am better at this. Better when I see something insoluble in the long run, but not sure if better feeling like got punched in the gut still…
Not feeling mad at for those who didn’t support or help when I need it. Now I know that they are already not capable even for themselves, but for sure some of them were capable, but didn’t want it.. can’t blame them but of course I respond equally. When I write something positive, joyful.. it’s almost always ‘despite’ all the negativity of those hardships that I do this or that… Not because I am a shallow person, it is because for those who were not good to me in those hard times. I was always a bit empathetic, but I am sure as I witness more in time, my empathy is growing more. So short for long, for those who is missing someone in their life in this holidays time or struggling at the moment with something… YOU ARE NOT ALONE. After every suicide news, writing and saying that ‘call here, there is help’ is not much meaningful thing for those who is feeling down, I can guess. Instead of showing a cold way, walking with them a few steps on the right way may help them more I believe. Josh Gordon steps away from NFL to focus on mental health.
Josh Gordon leaves Patriots over ban, ‘mental health’ concerns https://t.co/q73Iy9gqjs pic.twitter.com/SJy5Vdx5Wb
— New York Post (@nypost) December 20, 2018
“Psychology is a tough subject. Yes, we can help to a person at some level, but not always possible to help too much. We all want to spend all our life with our loved ones but not all of us that lucky. After Robin Williams passing, people were saying that ‘why you didn’t stay longer, you were a great entertainer’, I though this is actually a selfish way of thinking. He was suffering a lot and we are still thinking about how funny he was. I wish there is a quick cure for any kind of mental problems. I am trying to find different way of thinking for that kind of situations, but pain is the reality for people who stayed behind and had to live with this kind of sad experience. Suicide rates are rising in the US, because the society is so focused to ‘winning’. If they feel any kind of ‘losing’ for their career, job etc, they are feeling unsafe and useless in some cases. But actually success and career can’t define our happiness, just a part of it. I am not an expert or something but I read on the subject time to time. I know in the holidays time, while everybody with their families and loved ones, you may be thinking about him more. The best way of thinking is having nice memories with him, even for a short period of time. It’s easier for religious people to find peace probably. Everything for us as human beings. I hope you and your family found peace at some level. If there is something after life, I am sure he is at peace.” From a letter I wrote this week to someone who lost a family member.
Formula for Happiness
We really don’t need much things to be happy; After we have solved our basic needs, have a meaningful occupation, and able to share them with our loved ones. We see people highly successful, big winners, seems like have it all, people on the top percentage… Neither the Oscar nor the Grammy, or an Emmy sometimes won’t help them to be happy. There are many names have mental health or addiction problems. You, who have worries and concerns.. Don’t let these things reduce your energy, don’t deepen your worries. It doesn’t really matter where you are and what you are doing if you are with your family and loved ones.
- Basic needs
- A meaningful occupation
- Family members’ support mechanism
- A few trustful people around us
That’s all we need to be happy!
Nil Taskin